You can end your stress. If you are hungry, the obvious solution is to eat something. If you are restless, it pays to get up and walk around. Is stress different?
Along the way, it seems as though there is confusion about the best way to deal with the stress coming from from the projects you work on.
People may have told you, “Push through the stress and on the other side, everything will be okay.”
The theory is that if you get all the details right, get an A grade, get into a famous college, make the sale, polish the logo, do the pitch, be perfect, then… reassurance will follow.
The reassurance of success or even survival. The reassurance of external acclaim or simply relief.
Now that everything is okay, there is no need to be stressed!
Until the next time. Which might be tomorrow.
Reassurance is futile, because there is never enough of it.
Some folks manage to get their projects done without this sort of stress. They are not using the search for reassurance as fuel.
The solution to stress is not reassurance. It is an accurately understanding the world as it is, and making choices about what you do and how you do it.
But far more than that, you can relieve stress by making choices about the stories you tell yourself.
What is the difference between giving a speech to your dog and giving a speech on the TED stage?
It is the same speech.
The difference is in the story you tell yourself about the stakes, the opportunity and what might happen next. If that story gets debilitating enough, it can paralyze you.
If you are on a backpacking trip, there is little doubt that ten more minutes of tired to get to the next campsite is a smart investment. A little more tired translates into a lot more rest.
But if you are at work, there is not a lot of evidence that more stress is the best way to have less stress.
Look for the story instead.
Anxiety Is Emotional Fear
Anxiety another word for emotional fear. Anxiety is a 20-30-40% unconscious fear ongoingly experienced in your body.
Anxiety creates a 'ping-pong' sensation in the nervous system that exhausts all 5 bodies, and can create long term illnesses at the physical body level.
Many people who have anxiety think it is normal. They assume that this is the experience of being alive.
Therefore anxiety needs both Emotional Healing Processes (old decisions, memes, re-wiring fear, etc...) and practices to have the experience of being alive without that ongoing sensation.
A procedure to end anxiety is to start with the 3-3-3 Anger Practice. This establishes a safe space to experience and express loud feelings.
After 1.5 or 2 months of 3/3/3 Anger, add in a minute of consciously experiencing and expressing Fear for no reason. Go into as intense Fear as possible with no story attached, and then come down all the way to 0% fear.
Most people with anxiety in the beginning cannot go all the way down to zero. After 3-3-3 Anger plus Fear, you learn to go all the way back down to zero percent emotions. It is an amazingly relaxing and spacious set of sensations.
Worry is not helpful except for being a long-term Gremlin Food.
Worry puts your Center out into the future or back onto the past where you have zero power. You cannot worry in a Minimized NOW.
Worry puts your Center into a vast HERE which you have insufficient energy to manage. You cannot worry in a Minimized HERE.
The act of Worrying is often twisted into a Survival Strategy so that if you are Worrying, people see that you 'care'. If you are Worrying, people see that you are 'trying hard'. Then you are safe.
Worrying also provides your Gremlin with a weapon to use on other people that is applied like this: "If you are not Worried as much as I am, you don't care! You don't care about what is happening! And you don't care about me!"
You can re-shape your Gremlin Feeding emotional Worry into the usefully attentive creation feeling of fear.
This process and the unfolding of it during the following days led me to realize that during childhood I had wired 'Caring' with 'Doing Something'. and I had also wired 'Caring' with 'Worrying'. Wiring up both of those Memetic Constructs makes me exhausted in my heart and my nervous system, because I have not learned how, and do not allow myself, to simply just Care without Worrying or Doing Something about it.
Last week, with by EHP Coaches, I recognized that by wiring Caring and Doing Something I was mixing together the emotions of Fear and Sadness from Caring, together with the emotion of Anger from Doing Something. I was able to un-wired the automatic link between Caring and Doing Something and I got this energy back.
I realized that my authentic Caring gives me intelligence and energy to create the Possibility of Possibility through building out new Gameworld space that people can inhabit. Then the Care is not focused on individual people changing - which could easily create expectations - but on creating real structures that people can enter and participate as steps along following their Life's Path.
I also felt the opening of a huge grieving process for me, grief that I had numbed or put aside for a few weeks: grief about people leaving an intimate gameworld with me, grief about the fish being killed in the ocean, grief about the trees being cut, grief about having disconnected ourselves from the world... After this process I could finally enter more Presence, and more fully participate in the Liquid State that I am in now.
Touching The Jaguar with John Perkins and David Korten
John Perkins and David Korten - two old guys, meaning they have lived this long and are still lucid - discuss personal applications of how to 'touch the jaguar', a term that John encountered in his Ecuadorian shamanic training. From morning 'til night you face into choice after choice.
If the choice is to be authentic, then it needs to be real.
If the choice is to be real, then it needs to face your fear.
Your fear is the jaguar.
When the jaguar appears, the impulse is to run, hide, or deny its existence.
To turn towards the jaguar, to reach over and touch it, is to say, "Welcome fear, what do you have for me?"
Then write down what it says in your Beep! Book as fast and thoroughly as you can.
When you (and your Team) have read this book, enter Matrix Code CONSFEAR.01 in your free account(s) at StartOver.xyz. This experiment is worth 3 Matrix Points.
BE SCARED ALL THE TIME
Matrix Code CONSFEAR.02
Being scared all the time means jacking into an incredible resource and intelligence for navigating even seemingly trivial dimensions of relationship and life, with others and ourselves.
To build the ability to have access to this resource all the time, since in Modern Culture our Five Body System has been trained to ignore it, this experiment builds the muscle.
Starting with 20 seconds to one minute, 5 times each day, for the next week, put part of your attention onto noticing:
What am I afraid about RIGHT NOW?
You can work up to noticing a hundred times a day, ongoingly.
For example, when I am doing the dishes, I might notice:
I am afraid that my soapy hand I will let the dish go and it will break; I feel scared that if I turn the tap and the water gets too hot it might burn my hand; I am noticing I feel scared about taking too long doing the dishes, and missing my next appointment.
At least once a day for the week, write for at least 10 minutes in your Beep! Book about what you have been noticing.
After doing this for a week, and writing about it daily in your BEEP! Book, enter Matrix Code CONSFEAR.02 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.
SPEAK YOUR FEAR
Matrix Code CONSFEAR.03
Memorize the sentence, "I feel sacred because..."
For the next week, seven times a day, tell someone, "I feel scared because..."
For two days, bring an object, like a broken light bulb or a jagged stone, a screw driver or a really bad looking carrot.
Carry it in public in your hand.
Be afraid of your scary object by making up a story about why you are afraid of it.
Tell your story to other people, for example:
I am afraid of this rotten carrot because I thought it would get moldy and stain my hands.
I am afraid of this broken light bulb because I think people will think I am crazy to be carrying such a sharp thing around.
I am afraid of this jagged stone because it might cut into my hands.
When you have done this for two days, write in your Beep! Book for at least 10 minutes about how this went, then enter Matrix Code CONSFEAR.07 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.
CARRY AROUND A RAW EGG
Matrix Code CONSFEAR.08
Do this experiment for one full day, noticing what percentage fear you have about it in each moment.
For example, I have 44 % fear that my egg might break because there are kids around and they don't care about my egg.
I have 57% fear because my egg might roll off my desk and fall and break and it jumped up to 87% when someone came in the room who might bump my desk or ask me what I am doing with an egg on my desk.
(If anyone asks, let them know you have become an Experimenter).
When you have done this, enter Matrix Code CONSFEAR.08 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.
MOVE TOWARD YOUR FEAR
Matrix Code CONSFEAR.09
For the next week, 3-5 times a day, when you are in a room, stand or sit or lay in the place in the room, then move ten centimeters in whatever direction makes you feel less safe, where you feel the most fear.
When you have done this 3-5 times a day for a week, enter Matrix Code CONSFEAR.09 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.
THE CONSEQUENCES OF NOT USING FEAR
Matrix Code CONSFEAR.10
Consider the consequences of all the times you did not use your fear.
For at least 30 minutes in your Beep! Book, write about things that happened in your life as a consequence of not using your fear.
When you didn't use your fear going into a relationship.
When you didn't use your fear about spending too much on something.
When you didn't use your fear about making a clear agreement.
When you didn't use your fear to change your mind.
At least twice more in the next three days, write for another 30 minutes about this.
After four days, enter Matrix Code CONSFEAR.10 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.
NOTICE YOUR PATTERNS OF FEAR
Matrix Code CONSFEAR.11
Share your notes from the previous 4 experiments with your 3Cell, or your Possibility Team, or with at least 3 other people.
Ask the team to help you notice the patterns of your fear.
Then write at least a page in your Beep! Book titled, "My Fear Patterns."
When you have done this, enter Matrix Code CONSFEAR.11 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.